Perhaps, after experiencing a variety of experiences, your relationship with your partner begins to decline, or already chilled, or even crack. Things seemed to go awry. Maybe you feel increasingly nervous, anxious, or tightness. Prior to this condition already progressed to a worse direction, you need to do something to restore the warmth and romantic atmosphere that you originally dreamed. NLP-Hypnotherapy is an alternative that can be very helpful in restoring your relationship in an effective, rapid and healthy.
MAKE IT SIMPLE, KEEP IT SIMPLE
Various things and events, if left by itself tends to lead to conflict. This is reasonable because of various changes continue to occur, where each change tends to cause problems. That is why some say that life is a decision, and every moment, every person needs to make decisions that affect the quality of life, including the decision to complicate or simplify all the problems he faced. So … .. make it simple, and keep it simple ….
Human relationships is something that is very very soft (delicate) and fragile. That is why the line between love and hate can be very thin. This is caused by a variety of different characters who exist within every human being makes it unique and distinctive, yet vulnerable at the same time different from the others, including spouses. Person’s ability to manage these differences affect the quality of life, including quality of relationship with her partner. A couple who continue to survive in harmony, warm and romantic, definitely very good at managing the various differences between them so it does not take her to the natural course of the conflict, but rather to a positive and constructive direction.
Many theories, tips and advice offered by the wise men. Maybe you are among those who have attended training on interpersonal skills with a variety of tricks you probably know. But why is his real conditions become so difficult? The answer probably is because you do not make it simple, and keep it simple.
ONLY THREE defining element
In a variety of experience in guiding couples (married couples), we found that when simplified, there are only three elements that determine the warmth of your relationship with your partner. Platform (platform) of a solid, Attitude Give Warmth, Communication and Romantic. Many couples who originally thought this was too simplified, over-simplified. And I jokingly responded with a KISS
(Keep it simple …. Stupid! – Sorry this is only a joke).
Precisely because this idea is so simple it effective. There has never been couples who come to us with the intention to improve relations, not successful, or partially successful. So rest assured that things are immediately delivered under this highly effective, precisely because of its simplicity.
The following discussion is intended for normal couples (not having certain behavioral disorders associated), which has been and will be united with each other in a serious relationship.
Element 1: Solid Platform (solid foundation)
Have you ever experienced a situation which is too confusing because obscurity goals / directions / way to go? Go awry? Silence is wrong, something wrong?
Solid foundation is about the formulation of norms that you both agree in 6 common things that most often interfere with the warmth of relationship couples:
* ¨ Communication
o What things should be communicated? Which should be communicated? And that does not need to be communicated?
o When to communicate? In what conditions? When and how to communicate it to delay?
* ¨ Warmth
Here need to be agreed that the warmth required to be present in your relationship together. Without warmth, your relationship will be more cold and stretch, and then get away with all its negative consequences.
More details of this matter will be discussed in Element 2: Giving Warmness (attitude with warmth).
* ¨ The arguments and conflicts
Incompatibilities, irregularities and violations will occur SURE. You both need to plan and prepare to manage it. Stories “… and so They live hapily ever after …” after the wedding, there are only in fairy tales. Point.
Every person has a tendency specific conflict styles. Identify and agree on three things:
How to arguments and conflict resolution appropriate for each type of case.
Your own style of natural conflict.
Style your partner conflict.
How to seek settlement of arguments and each koflik for you both to each type of case.
Conflicts are dealt with naturally follow the style of conscience and instinct, SURE would not solve the problem and will plunge you both on the situation of ‘win-wins’ (each want to win).
* ¨ Norma manners and social norms need to be formulated in a specific, both for the association among gender (sex) as well as between genders, to order social work and social life and family. You need to be more sensitive to understand the background of ‘cultural’ your partner. Someone who is familiar with a very polite manners certainly very different from those accustomed to a metropolitan lifestyle that “slang”, for both social and business affairs. Avoidance of clarity in this regard will only damage your relationship warmth, because of various prejudices can come mess.
* ¨ Leadership (leadership), “Of course the husband who should lead”, so said the various norms in force in our society. But whether in the way of cooking had to be led? (Enter the first and kecapnya onion ….). In terms of what needs to be given general rules that guide and the details left to your spouse, and in terms of what needs to be discussion and a decision you, as a wife / husband? You both need to formulate this, once again, walking / parallel with daily activities. Just as important, you need to be consistent and consistently abide by and respect the decision taken by your partner in his capacity. If there was less appropriate, compromised if the incident in question needs to be changed, or changes made in the rules of the game and applied for cases to come.
* · Economy How the financial arrangements, the revenue, expenditure, savings, assets, etc.? Budget system using envelopes or passbook (with ATM card) for each of the expenditure items, or that something? Who decides go to the post where, out of the post where? For a nominal how? How to give / receive assistance from other family or friends? When all this has been established, subsequent implementation in a transparent live scrolling.
The formulation of all the above can be done in a relaxed but serious, and takes place while running (parallel) with daily activities. You need this document in order to keep a systematic, although relaxed.
Once again need to be reminded, you need to build and establish these elements in a relaxed but serious. Everything is handled in a too tense or too underestimate, will not produce good results.
Element 2: Giving Warmness (Give Warmth).
Remember you still dating moments, times when one partner approached and began to be accepted by a partner? When your relationship is still new and warm-warm before making a commitment and / or married? In general there is a real attitude is found in couples who are “hot”, the attitude of giving warmth, Giving Warmness. Attention, affection, even though the material given to her partner unconditionally, without demanding. Any difference between “small” softened and no question, everything is beautiful flowered.
Why so professed commitment, either in the form of a more serious relationship or in the form of marriage, everything was changed? The attitude of ‘Giving’ changed to ‘demanding’ (sue). The warmth and the love turned into a necessity and obligation? You can imagine, or even feel, how different the climate that arise only from changes in this attitude. The situation is like changing from the Giving in the ‘off’ it, and the ‘demanding’ in ‘on’kan. It’s that simple.
Simple as that also the back like when I was ‘hot’. ‘Off’ right button ‘demanding’, and ‘On’kan the’ Giving ‘, and the contents of’ Giving ‘by’ Warmness’ (warmth).
Tips: Warmth for each individual can differ from one another. You need to identify what and how the perceived ‘warmth’ by your mate. Communication continues to be maintained very help you get to know each other and understand your partner’s perception adopted.
Element 3: Romantic Communication (Communication of Romantic).
Is there anything more beautiful than a romantic relationship? Is not this a cause love is blind? There is a proverb which says: “… if there is one thing That cans conquer a great power … it must be love …” (… if anyone can beat a great power … it must be love …). And fuel is romantic love. With the attitude of ‘Giving Warmness’ that had been built, you can do ‘Romantic Communication’ with ease and flow beautifully. You just need to find what is romantic for their spouse. Communicate openly and transparently. Your enemy is yourself, that may be too proud to ask for, stating that you need. “He should have understood by itself!” Is the assumption that the TOTAL wrong. You need to continue to ask for it, need it. Can you dismiss or reject the request of a little boy who innocently funny?
Berhasratkah you give to people who are selfish and annoying? Tips:
1. If after trying you still have difficulty realizing all of the above, you need to learn specifically through the various readings are available at bookstores, or through various seminars or coaching. If still have problems, maybe it’s time you seek professional help in charge of this. Let your relationship grow in ways that are less healthy will only be like removing various time bomb that is not clear when it will explode, roll follows the lives of both of you